Our Foundation recently received an initial inquiry from the Colorado-based organization Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep (NILMDTS). Apparently NILMDTS trains photographers how to photograph infants who have tragically died. According to NILMDTS, these photographs are a way of memorializing a short but no less important life. I contacted the executive director, Lindsay Hannagan, and mentioned to her that I had recently added a post to the BLT blog (on July 6th, 2010) that, in part, deals with a picture of an infant who died after 30 days. I asked Lindsay a few follow-up questions:
- Do you have any activities in New Mexico?
- Can you say a bit more about what you do?
- How does attachment theory fit into the picture?
Lindsay provided me with a very thoughtful response (which she said I could reprint in a blog post). Here’s Lidsay’s response to my follow-up questions (with editorial changes in brackets):
We do have volunteers in New Mexico. Currently there are just over 25 photographers in the state of New Mexico who serve families who have lost an infant. Although we encourage all photographers to log their sessions they are not always logged. Based on our records we estimate that about 40 families received our services in the State of New Mexico from July 1, 2009 to June 30, 2010.
The topics of grief, loss and attachment are reviewed with all photographers in these trainings. [Photographers learn] how to deal with families (immediate and extended), hospitals, and with themselves. We train our photographers that every family deals with the loss of an infant differently—some families do not want to see, hold, or touch their infant while others will not let them out of their arms. Some families are laughing and cracking jokes when photographers arrive while others will be crying with no end in sight. We let the photographers know what we have learned through working with bereavement counselors and social workers on what to expect. Although every session is different we rely on the experience of our board, trainers, and attendees to share what they have and may experience while taking a NILMDTS session. We also touch on how the photographer must keep themselves healthy and how to deal with their grief [as a result] of seeing and experiencing a loss with a family.
We also coach them on how to create healthy boundaries that allow for the family to have their memories and the photograph provided to them, but to not facilitate a relationship beyond the presentation of images. We have seen where unhealthy boundaries have grown and [as a result] not allowed the family (or the photographer) to fully accept the death of a child.
Our board is comprised of medical personnel specializing in pregnancy and early infant loss as well as families who have lost children and professional photographers. We ensure that we give our photographers the best tools possible to ensure that the families who are in the midst of a great loss receive the best care possible.
Sincerely,
Lindsay Hannagan
Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep Foundation
www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org
phone: 720.283.3339
outside of Colorado: 877.834.5667
