by Amy Morin, psychotherapist and Forbes contributor (March 20th, 2016)
Just wanted to insert this QUICK LOOK because it ties nicely with the topic of addiction and attachment I looked at in my last post. I found Morin’s article over at Forbes to be most insightful. Morin points to a new study that suggests that time, contrary to the old adage, may not necessarily heal all wounds. In addition, we may not be as psychologically resilient as the resiliency crowd would have us think. Morin works as a psychotherapist and reveals that often her clients report feeling bad years after the loss of a loved one. “Quite often, their anguish stems from their attempts to escape heartache [e.g., grief],” writes Morin. She continues, “Rather than deal with their grief or confront their sadness, they attempt to distract themselves from misery.” Morin gives us this “bottom line”: “[M]any of them still feel as though their loss happened yesterday.” Here’s this sense of grief existing out of the contexts of time and space (as I talked about in my last post). Carried to an extreme, constantly seeking distractions from misery and grief could lead to addictive behavior. The study Morin points to by researchers at Arizona State University suggests that the message “people are resilient” may not be true and may ultimately keep people from seeking help. Rather than seeking help, many just white knuckle it hoping that time will indeed heal their wounds. Instead of just soldiering on, Morin offers the following counsel: “Thinking realistically, regulating your emotions, and behaving productively is the key to bouncing back from adversity.” I would add that taking steps to mourn the grief normally associated with loss would also help. As I pointed out in my last post, it’s hard to find support for our mourning process because mourning is so devalued in our society today.
I’ll be back after the Easter break. Have a great holiday!